Long distance relationships can be tough.
I know. I am stating the obvious. So, let’s get to the point. I think anyone in a long distance relationship can use all the help they can get to get through the time they are separated from their loved one. This is a list of the 6 tips (in no particular order) I would give anyone in a long distance relationship-especially an international one, like mine was.
1) Block out negative comments.
Trust me. You will receive many pessimistic comments, questions, and “looks” from many people. Some may not even say a word to you, but you know they’re thinking you are crazy, lost all common sense, and setting yourself up for disaster. You know they are shaking their head at you. Other people won’t be so shy about it and will tell you that it’s impossible and will never work out.
If you don’t want distance to be the cause of your breakup, you have to block these people out. I’m not suggesting to be rude to them (although I have to say it is tempting, isn’t it?? Especially after a long day???). Just simply smile and walk away, letting their comments go in one ear and out the other. They don’t understand. They can’t.
2) Pray.
Prayer was a huge help for me in getting through my long distance relationship. It helped me when I was down, when I was feeling hopeless, when I was worried and when I couldn’t stand the distance any more. Knowing God was taking care of me and Mar and that He was always there to listen to me was a tremendous comfort.
3) Talk, Skype everyday.
Seriously. No matter how busy you are, find a way to talk, especially Skype, everyday-even if it’s only for a few minutes. Communication is vital. You miss the actual presence of your SO so you need to make up for it in the only way you can-communication! It helps show the other person that they mean something to you, they are important to you, and helps build and maintain their trust. It also helps you trust them.
Mar and I Skyped everyday. For hours.I am not kidding. I really don’t know what we talked about, but I guess it was probably everything under the sun. Some of my friends were amazed that we could find that much to talk about, but somehow there was very little silence during those Skype sessions. Of course, there were those days that popped up once in awhile that we couldn’t talk for hours, but even then we managed a short Skype visit, or a quick phone calls, or a simple text message-something. Anything. I know not everyone can talk as long as we did everyday, but I can honestly say that talking everyday, in some way, was very important in making the distance bearable.
4) Use “snail mail”
Yes, I am aware of shipping rates, especially international ones, but it is worth it. While emails and texts are nice and good, there is just something about receiving something tangible in the mail. It’s just different. It has a special way of bringing a smile to your face, and lifting your spirits. Receiving something in the mail makes the relationship feel more “real”.
Mar used to send me cards every once in awhile and I remember how it always lifted my spirits for days. Sometimes it had his scent of cologne on it too:)
5) Visit as often as possible.
Yes, I know this might seem like a no brainier, but I think many people might opt not to visit in order to save money. Honestly, I am all about saving money, especially when you are trying to prepare for your future. However, some things are more important. I am SO glad I spent the money to visit Mar in the Philippines. It was such a relief to be able to talk to him and see him in person, without internet signals interrupting us! We made so many memories together! Plus, I got to meet his family and see his culture.
I’m not saying to go and spend every dollar you earn on traveling. You obviously need to be prudent. I am saying that whenever it’s possible you should consider going to visit your special someone. It’s a good investment. I don’t regret any of the money I spent on traveling to visit him:)
6) Find other people in a long distance relationship.
I think this is important in keeping your moral up and knowing that you can do this and get through this. It helps you know that you are not abnormal or totally crazy and knowing that the things you feel are normal. If there isn’t anyone in your area that is in a long distance relationship then go online. There are many blogs, forums, etc that you can find online. It will help you a lot to know that you are not alone in this.
So, there you have it. Just my little two cents (or should I say six cents? 😉 on what you can do that might help get you through this time of being in a long distance relationship. I hope it helps:)
~My Filipino Husband~ 